It is far too easy.

We’ve all done it at some point. Talked the talk but failed to walk the walk.  Whether telling a child not to say that word, knowing full well we are the only reason they know that word or giving our friend what we know is sound advice, if only we could follow it ourselves.

Yes, it is far too easy to say the right things and fail to substantiate our words with our actions. This phenomenon may be most prevalent amongst those of us who work with youth. It happens millions of times a day throughout the world, adults tell kids what to think, what to do, how to believe, how to behave, all the while failing to put their words into action in their own lives.

As Sources of Strength Adult Advisors, Trainers or Trusted Adults we consistently tell the peer leaders we work with of the importance of developing their strengths,
of having balance in their lives,
of not relying on just one thing to pull them through tough times,
that it’s brave to ask for help…
but those words of wisdom quickly become words without impact if we don’t live them out in our lives.

Often teachers, counselors, spiritual leaders and those who spend their day serving others are most in need of taking time to care for their own hearts/minds/bodies/spirits.

So take a minute and reflect, are you talking the talk without walking the walk? Are you being authentic or hypocritical when you tell the young people in your life to think positively, to ask for help, to be lovers of life?

So let’s stop, you and I. Let’s stop and take some time to be poured into so that we may pour out to those we serve. If we are empty, we have nothing left to give. Without having real and thriving strengths in our lives we cannot hope to convince others of their value nor help them to see their own worth.

Here are a few places to start.

• Think Positively/Practice Gratitude. Studies show that the simple act of taking 2-3 minutes every day to journal about something you are grateful for can over the course of less than a month re-wire our brains to scan our environments for the positive and break the cycle of cynicism and negativity. This can be a great activity for those working in high stress situations.

Watch this Ted Talk about the Power of Positive Thinking.

• Temet Nosce – the Latin phrase for “know thyself”. It is vital for you to understand you. What makes you tick? Do people give you energy? Does solitude? When are you at your best? Your worst? How can you increase and maximize the times when you are at your finest and working within your strengths, skills, passions and talents? Know what is important to you and take time to cultivate growth in that area. Don’t spend all your time focusing on your weaknesses and deficiencies, rather nurture and develop your greatest assets, your strengths.

Consider taking some personality tests and/or strengths assessments

• Feed your soul. C.S Lewis once said, “You don’t have a soul, you are a soul, you have a body.” Whether or not you consider yourself spiritual we can all agree that there is a deeper part of each of us that must be nourished if we are to live abundant lives. Find out what gives you a sense of peace, calm, direction, truth and be disciplined to find time in your schedule for those activities. Whether it’s music, reading, nature, journaling, dancing when no ones watching, channeling your inner child and chasing butterflies…
  Whatever it is, make it a priority.
  
  
• Practice Vulnerability. Sources of Strength work requires a ‘healthy vulnerability’ as we share our strengths and areas to strengthen in our lives. Obviously when we work with young people this vulnerability must be balanced within healthy boundaries, but to walk the walk means we need to share in healthy ways about our lives and strengths. So many young people seek genuine relationship with adults and understandably find this difficult when the adults in their lives lack any sense of vulnerability.
  
  I fully understand the reluctance to being vulnerable, the truth remains that vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation, joy, genuine relationship, and the ability to admit we need help and to ask for it.
  Whoever it is, find someone you can be vulnerable with and let them know you.
  Scars and all.
  Watch this Brene Brown Ted Talk on the power of Vulnerability.

This sounds great, but the truth is that we are all busy, very busy.

Our lives are full, but it is the wrong kind of full.

Not the full abundant vibrant kind, but the full busy hectic kind.

Mountains on our desks at work, constant demands of family, keeping up a healthy social life and trying not to fall apart physically are realities of life.

Here’s the thing though.

The truth of the matter is if we don’t pay attention to our own minds/bodies/hearts/spirits every other area of our lives will suffer for it. If we are full to overflowing we have excess to give and pour out to others. When we are drained and empty we have nothing left to give. In this work with young people we are running a marathon, not a sprint and it is important to take time to grow in our strengths, to reflect, to be vulnerable and to walk the walk of caring for ourselves. Your family is worth it, the great work you do is worth it, you are worth it.

All the best to you,

Scott

So you might be asking yourself “Self, what has Sources of Strength been up to lately?”
Okay, odds are you aren’t asking yourself that but I’m going to answer it for you anyway…

This fall has been a very busy and very exciting time for Sources of Strength. Within two months time we were published in The American Journal of Public Health, The Los Angeles Times and Psychology Today. We were featured on All Things Considered on NPR and a Latino community group running Sources of Strength in Atlanta was featured by CNN Español! Needless to say lots of exciting publicity. But that is not what has been keeping us busy or what the Sources of Strength program is about.

Let me give you a snapshot of my fall:
I have flown in a fishtailing 16 passenger plane through the mountains of Wyoming. I have driven through the Georgia countryside and the Colorado mountains. We have been all over New York and North Dakota as we implement the nation’s largest study on peer leadership and its effect on suicide prevention.  I have watched the sunset over the Arizona desert from 30,000 ft. I have had tears fill my eyes as a senior girl shared of the loss of her brother to suicide. I have watched as teens have combated the notion that suicidal people cannot be helped. I have listened as teenagers took a hypothetical situation about dealing with friends struggling with suicide and showed us how nothing about it was hypothetical to them. I have laughed till I had tears streaming down my face, watching teenagers play the most ridiculous of games. I have recharged in the mountains of California. I have sat in strategic planning meetings with countless passionate people working to protect and empower their communities. I have spoken with salt of the earth YMCA directors who have made it their lives’ work to offer a place for kids to come have fun and feel safe. I have mourned as I spoke with a girl who lost her mother to suicide and is nothing but combative to the adults trying to help her, and I rejoiced in the opportunity we were providing her to find healing. I have gotten rug burns and pulled muscles as I tried my hardest to defeat senior boys in a game called Ninja Wars. I have sat in a room of LGBTQ students and listened as they shared of the challenges and intolerance they face every day and I was floored by the courage they have to be themselves, to fight to change things and make a difference. I have had the tremendous privilege to be a light in dark places, to speak truth to kids who have come to believe only lies and to watch the power of strength and hope save lives.

I believe in the work we are doing at Sources of Strength and I am so excited for where things are headed. We are working to expand Sources of Strength to communities in New Jersey, Washington DC, Manitoba Canada, Colorado and California to name just a few. We are evaluating what we do well and what we can do better. We are making a difference. Thank you for being a part of what is happening here, no matter how big or how small a role. We truly appreciate your support and encouragement.

Well now that you know what we have been up to, let us know what you have been up to in your organizations and communities. And if you have a favorite Sources of Strength moment, we’d love to hear about it in the comments!

Many Thanks,

Scott

The other day was World Suicide Prevention Day, I had taken part in a social media campaign for the last week to raise awareness for the day and the suicide prevention movement as a whole. As I opened my email that morning I noticed multiple invites to join a webcast and watch live as the newly formed National Action Alliance for suicide prevention addressed the press and the nation about the formation of this new body and the importance of continuing suicide prevention in the country.

After a brief battle with unsupported browsers, I logged in and began to watch as Senator Gordon Smith took the podium and began addressing the nations leaders in Suicide Prevention. While Senator Smith was in office he spearheaded what is widely considered as some of the most important legislation addressing suicide prevention in the United States. This legislation was called the Garrett Lee Smith Memorial Act, named after Senator Smith’s son who had died by suicide.

As a young professional in this field I have often been struck by the fact that a vast majority of my colleagues in suicide prevention have been deeply impacted by the issue of suicide in some way, shape or form. Whether like Senator Smith they are survivors of the suicide of a loved one, whether they themselves have gone down the arduous road of suicidal ideation or whether they like me have simply fallen into this field and found themselves swept up in the stories of those who have fought with depression and mental illness and overcome and the stories of those who have lost their lives by suicide.

I often find myself struggling to stay passionate about what I do on a day-to-day basis. Encouragement and renewed vigor comes in many forms. The other day it came in the words of Senator Smith-

"Just imagine if we could end suicide in this country, we would save 34,000 lives a year. But let's say that we can't. Let's say that we could save but one. We would be in the shoes of leaving the 99 to save the one. I have said on many occasions like this that those who do this work, work on the side of angels."

It was the reference to one of the parables of Jesus that got my attention. In this Parable Jesus talks about the good shepherd who has 100 sheep and leaves the 99 to rescue the 1 who is lost. I have always loved that story for the sheer illogic of it. To the logical mind that sounds like a poor and irresponsible shepherd, but to the passionate heart, to the hurting soul, to the lost and the broken…that sounds like the only kind of shepherd worth following.

I have always been drawn to stories of rescue, of hope, of redemption. And that is why I can be passionate about what I do. Often suicide prevention work can feel like trying to find a needle in a haystack, and while the comprehensive nature of the Sources of Strength program addresses issues outside of suicide it can still often feel like we’re digging through hay. But when faced with the challenge of leaving the 99, of rescuing the one, of helping the hurting, of healing the broken, of uplifting the downtrodden…well that I can get behind.